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I'm a Carrier... » partlycloudy

Posted by Racer on May 31, 2005, at 13:14:57

In reply to don't know what to make of this., posted by partlycloudy on May 31, 2005, at 10:02:53

I used to say that I was a carrier for marriage: every time I broke up with a long term boyfriend, he'd turn around and marry someone else within months! Meanwhile, I never showed symptoms myself, no matter how much I wanted to...

(Of course, now that I'm married, it's obvious that it was just a latent infection...)

You must feel as though you're a carrier for practice closure, huh?

Two bits of reality for you:

1. This isn't necessarily something that's going to happen again, and it takes a while to find a therapist who is really a good fit. Get out there and interview a dozen therapists, until you find The Right One (For Now). Think of it as a temporary job, a transition from working to recovering.

2. You will always feel less well than others see you as being, because you have so much more going for you than most people. You have great insight into yourself and your situation. You are highly intelligent. You carry yourself well, and I suspect are very well versed in hiding how you're really feeling. If you've only been seeing this therapist since December, she doesn't know you well enough to see the hurt below the surface yet. She's also probably much more used to seeing people who are in crisis, with far fewer resources than you have. That contrast will also make you look a great deal better than you feel.

PC, sweetheart, I do hope that you will try again. You know my history, and yet I'm still trying. Wanna try together?

Even if you don't, you have my warmest wishes for you to recover from this quickly, and to heal without a scar.


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