Posted by gardenergirl on May 31, 2005, at 3:30:57
In reply to Re: The Introduction (In Session) » gardenergirl, posted by littleone on May 30, 2005, at 21:52:06
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> Oh, this is a very touching statement gg. It made me smile.Me too...just thinking about it again. :)
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> > He admitted that he might be coming across that way because T's can be frightened about deepening with a client just like a client can, but it's up to the T to manage that fear in order to do the work.
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> This has just flabbergastered me. I could understand that they may not want to attach to someone who has a big chance of bolting, but I can't understand this in regards to a steady client. I kind of thought T's don't have attachment issues. They've either grown up healthy or have had them all sorted out in their own therapy. I don't understand why they would be scared to deepen the relationship.Well, I don't know if T's have everything all sorted out. I think it's important that they recongnize what's theirs and what's the clients. And if their stuff is leaking in, they need to plug that leak ASAP. I think maybe "scared" is too strong of a word. And maybe that's not even the word my T used. He might have said "anxious." It didn't surprise me too much when he said it. It seemed like a very human and authentic reaction on his part to my saying it felt like he was warning me off.
Now, what might he be anxious about? I'm not sure. Perhaps he is anxious about how it might go if I were to develp erotic feelings about him. That's a tricky area. Even if T's have their own issues dealt with, sex is a very personal thing. And there are reactions we can have that are more physiological than psychological. Maybe he's worried about that? Or maybe he wonders if he's up to the task of deepening. I know it takes more out of me, and I know that emotional sessions with my clients can be draining for me, too. Maybe he is anxious about what "dark secrets" I might have. Yes, T's are supposed to be able to hear anything and still provide unconditional postive regard. But I can tell you from experience, some things I hear can resonate with me viscerally. And that kind of stuff has stayed with me longer than other stuff. I feel confident that my reaction made it safe for the client to go on, but it was such a dark, gut-wrenching story, you couldn't help but be affected by it. So maybe he's anxious about that? Golly, I could go on and on. Insomnia at play here.
I should print this out and bring it in to my next session.
Thanks for making me think!
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:491935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/505639.html