Posted by pinkeye on May 16, 2005, at 14:00:00
In reply to Re: do T's think they are better/smarter than others? » pinkeye, posted by JenStar on May 16, 2005, at 0:27:15
I can understand. I was like that too.. I was horribly fat when I was young, but was very smart and did well in studies. So everyone branded me as "brainy", "geeky" etc. And nobody ever said I was beautiful or anything (for some time in my life.. though I ended up losing almost all of my extra fat and now I like decent).
So I also always had issues around my intelligence.. I thought for a long time, to be intelligent means to be not beautiful and not feminine. Plus I also thought men won't like me if I am intelligent. I even went to great lengths to hide my intelligence. When I came to college, I would purposefully not study and do poorly in subject, because I thought guys like only girls who are dumb. I kind of associated intelligence with "not being pretty or feminine".. And I ended up having lot of issues around being intelligent. It took me a long long time to understood those two are completely different. How you look, how men perceive you, how you operate has nothing to do with your intelligence or your capacity. People who are extremely intelligent and capable can be very feminine and pretty and giving and an elegant woman, and people who are dumb could be arrogant, bossy, and rude and could be just plain irritating.
None of it has anything to do with your intelligence.
And besides, beauty is a relative term. If you consider my state from where I came from, in my country, I was one of the better looking - just because I was a little more fair than most people. The same thing if I moved to other parts of my country, where people are more fair, then I am considered average. In the US, where people are extremely fair and white and thin and slender, I think I would be considered as below average. IT all depends on where you are. I am sure if you go to India, you will be treated as the prettiest of all. If you have to compare, compare yourself with someone who looks worse than you, and not with someone who looks better than you.
poster:pinkeye
thread:498207
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/498521.html