Posted by Racer on May 13, 2005, at 19:53:20
I'm scared. Thought I should mention that, right off the bat.
Anyway, my new T is very into the whole Cognitive Thing. By changing your thought patterns, you will change your mood. And she stops me periodically to assign homework along those cognitive intervention lines.
The problem is, those exercises are so very, very close to what I already do in order to shield myself from my emotions, and distance myself even more from my emotions. That's not what I'm in therapy for, and I can already feel a lot of Bad Feelings coming up, stronger and stronger.
She's still taking a very detailed history from me, and we haven't yet gotten even to the part where I tell her what I'm looking for out of therapy. I know that I need to talk to her about this, and I know that I need to do it soon, but I'm not sure how.
For one thing, I'm afraid -- damn, there's a pattern emerging here, isn't there? -- I'm afraid that she will see it as me simply being resistant to therapy, resistant to doing the work, resistant to authority, whatever. That very much frightens me! When I think of saying something like, "The cognitive interventions are very helpful, and they are certainly effective -- but I don't think they're what I need, because I use such similar things to block my moods already," I'm afraid that that will just look like, "Yes -- BUT"
Can anyone offer any advice?
Thanks.
poster:Racer
thread:497503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/497503.html