Posted by Tamar on May 11, 2005, at 6:27:15
In reply to Re: does every T bring up sex at some point?, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2005, at 16:34:57
> > also, masturbation and fantasies are sex, too. at least they fall under the topic. and are often harder to talk about (more embarrassing) than talking about having it with another person.
>
> Why? I am seriously genuinely interested. I only know what's in my own mind, and am interested in the minds of others. To me, it's such a natural part of nearly everyone's existence that it's no big deal at all.I never talked about fantasies with my T! Eek! I know rationally that it’s a natural part of everyone’s existence, but nevertheless I feel that my fantasies are extremely personal: much more personal than if I were to discuss sex acts. And I think most of my fantasies are very very tame, so I’m a bit embarrassed about that, oddly enough.
It’s funny though: a few months ago, while I was still seeing my T, I was driving home from work one day and an image sprung into my mind: a sexual image that I found quite disturbing because it was unlike any other fantasies I’ve ever had. But instead of pushing it out of my mind I allowed it to develop a bit. (OK, I went home and wrote it all down like a porn story. I would post it on Writing to give you a laugh, but it would be too full of asterisks to be understood.) But I realised that it had appeared because of things I’d been talking about in therapy.
Perhaps I could have told my T about this new fantasy, because it was quite significant. But the idea of saying the words out loud, to him, and imagining that he could picture me touching myself… No way! Too much potential for him to think of me as repulsive and disgusting. (Obviously I never think of other people as repulsive and disgusting. Only I am repulsive, and all right-thinking people surely agree.)
Plus, I don’t think I could have talked to my T about my fantasies without wondering what he fantasises about, and I had quite enough trouble trying not to think about that sort of thing!
(Maybe instead of saying the words out loud I could have taken him a printout of the story I wrote. Tee hee!)
poster:Tamar
thread:492889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496314.html