Posted by Dinah on May 10, 2005, at 20:07:11
In reply to Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 19:08:35
This is ten years in, remember. And the reason he's proud is because I change ever so slowly. :) He's probably shocked senseless that something he said sunk in. But he didn't volunteer it you know. I said something like "I'm proud of me. Are you proud of me too?" Shy? Me? :)
It meant more to me when he said what I wrote made him feel good about being a therapist.
We also talked about the direct statements from therapists of a complimentary nature. He said your therapist's response was pretty much standard. That therapists are cautious about becoming too hmmm... can't remember exactly. Too big? Too important? Something like that. I told him that therapists were silly. :) Because they're important anyway. In addition to what I said about them wanting us to get that from ourselves.
You know, I remember that from Montessori for my son. You were never supposed to give global compliments. Oh, you're wonderful. Or you're a wonderful artist. You're supposed to say things like "I like the way you cleaned the table after you used it." or "I really liked the colors you used in your picture of a horse." And lots of "I'll bet you feel pretty proud of being able to master that puzzle."
I failed that parental test. I tell my son he's wonderful all the time. I'm not sure he likes it, so maybe they're right.
poster:Dinah
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496199.html