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Re: Is it really harmful to be friends with T ?

Posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 23:06:25

In reply to Re: Is it really harmful to be friends with T ? » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 3, 2005, at 22:06:29

Forbidden????

Linehan has a section on termination. One of the issues she deals with is how to handle it if a client requests to keep up contact with the t.

She says that the client should understand that it is a privaledge not a right - and accept that the therapist may not want to.

She said that it is perfectly fine to be friends if both parties agree.

I wanted to keep up contact with one of my t's who I liked very much. She seemed happy to give me her address. She muttered something about not being able to remember her new home address - and I said her work one was fine. I figured that she would get to see over time that I was thinking of her more as a friend than a therapist and trust that I wasn't going to send her stuff when I was in crisis or expect her to interveane or anything like that. Then if she wanted to give me her home address then that would have been fine with me.

I wrote to her a couple of times.
She then wrote to me and said that she didn't realise it when I asked initially, but because she was still employed by the district health board even though she was in a different city she was required to put my correspondance on my file.

She said she was sorry about that. That she wouldn't put the previous letters on there - but any future ones would have to be. She also said that she was thinking that it could be useful for me to write for up to a year to help me say goodbye because she understood that goodbyes can be hard.

I really think... That she mentioned it to someone off hand and they frowned upon the idea. That she rethought that and the clarification was done in hindsight.

I accepted that.
Never wrote again.

But I do think it is only sexual relationships that are prevented.

Friendship is up to both parties.

It might be helpful in some cases.
Harmful in others.
It may be hard to get a grip on the role transition.

 

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