Posted by Scorch1 on April 29, 2005, at 0:28:38
I am a worthless crazy jerk who has wasted his life. If I were gone, no one would care. Someone might say they care but I wouldn't believe it.
If I owned a gun I would be dead, for when I get really mad for sixty seconds or less I would use it. I am always mad at myself.
I have seen many different therapists over the years and been on numerous medications. Nothing helped. I have no contact with my emotions. I wouldn't mind being locked up on death row where I would have no interaction with anyone. But I couldn't hurt anyone to get there except myself.
I am now on the slow boat to dying. I have type 2 diabetes. I take my pills but eat whatever I want. So my blood sugar ranges from 200 to over 600. I always have cracks in my heels and hands because I will not use lotion. Because of the cracks and diabetes I have had cellulitis in my legs over 30 times in the last 10 years. Instead of taking an antibiotic for 10 days now I must take two antibiotics for 20 days because they don't work as well. The next time I get cellulitis I am not going to take any antibiotics. No one would know until I got really sick and then hopefully it would be to late.
Some years back I had two tee shirts made. One said in large letters Stupid Crazy Jerk and the other said Kill Me Now. I wore the tee shirts a lot for over two years. Tonight I found that I can buy on line tee shirts that say I Hate Myself.
The Worthless Crazy Jerk
poster:Scorch1
thread:491292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491292.html