Posted by shrinking violet on April 23, 2005, at 14:30:09
In reply to Re: middle of the night musings.... » shrinking violet, posted by Poet on April 23, 2005, at 12:34:05
> I was up until 2 a.m. central time, again I should have been online, not lying on the couch with the TV remote. My sleep in a bottle was alcohol, I reserve Ambien for work nights. Not good either way, really.-- I'm sorry you have difficulty sleeping as well. Even w/ meds, I rarely get a full night in, let alone without anything. I love Ambien also, but my psych only gives me limited amounts....I've been mixing it with other things, but find I need more and more of everything to get the same effect. I over medicated this morning though so now I'm groggy and achy. In a way, it's sort of like a dreamy-awake state, so in a way it's good, b/c I can numb out some of the more intense stuff. Although it isn't very conducive for getting any work done.
>> I hope when you finally fell asleep that your dreams were pleasant ones, that you hugged your T and felt some closure. I know how awful having to end therapy is for you, why you are feeling so bad about what you should or shouldn't have done. I wish we all could go back in time and re-do things, knowing what we did wrong the first time, but I think we can only do that in our minds. Try hard to think about how hard you did work, even if right now you see little progress, okay? You are not a failure, you have great worth, it's just buried beneath a lot of pain, that I am magically wishing away for you.
--Thank you, Friend. I did send my T a short email yesterday, sent her a cyber hug. She did email me back today (totally unexpected, especially as it's a Saturday and she has been trying to "wean" me from emailing) and thanked me, etc. So, at least I did get to hear from her. And I have her pillow here, to hug.Thank you,
SV
poster:shrinking violet
thread:488248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/488373.html