Posted by Tamar on April 21, 2005, at 5:57:34
In reply to Marking anniversaries, posted by messadivoce on April 20, 2005, at 18:26:23
I haven’t been a whole year without my T – it’s been just over a month. But I felt I had to mark the month since termination in some way. I knew I’d be feeling rough, so I gave myself the whole morning just to think about him, and therapy in general, and I wrote down how I was feeling (not wanting to sink into a depressive state!).
I also arranged to meet a friend in the afternoon. It was a friend who understood the whole thing, so I talked quite a lot about my T, though we talked about other things too. I decided not to drink any alcohol because I knew I’d end up getting drunk and that wouldn’t help. But it was good to have some company and she cheered me up.
That was what worked for me: a little space to feel sad followed by some time with a supportive friend. I didn’t want the sadness to descend into a full-scale moping session. But I do think it’s important to acknowledge the sadness and then find some comfort. Are there certain pieces of music you associate with your former T? If so, you could listen to them. Or maybe poetry, or a special place to go for a walk, or something like that? And is there someone you can spend time with who can comfort you?
I also think it can be helpful to be quite creative on occasions like this: perhaps to make or write or do something that you can keep as a memory of the anniversary. Write a poem, burn a CD, paint a picture, take photographs of flowers… whatever. It gives the sadness a focus.
Well that’s just my ideas. I don’t know what it’s like to feel a whole year’s sadness, but I hope you’ll find a way to mark the anniversary that feels appropriate to you.
(((((Voce)))))
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:487156
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/487349.html