Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2005, at 18:33:04
In reply to Bad Session with T, posted by cricket on April 19, 2005, at 17:04:46
It doesn't sound as if you're a zombie with him. Crying with someone implies a certain openness.
"Long time no see" might imply a patient who's terminated and is coming in for a checkup. Maybe your therapist is one of those that believes the blank slate approach is the best.
The first five years of my therapy were like a different therapy entirely. I tested him and I couldn't figure out why I kept coming back because my thoughts about him were almost entirely negative.
But there was something about him that I needed. A certain solidness at the core. When I eventually saw that I could trust him, at least in many areas, everything changed.
But part of that was asking myself and him a whole lot of questions. Including questions about our floundering (at the time) relationship. And it was in those questions that I finally found the answer to whether this was a relationship worth working on.
Have you ever talked about those things with him?
"Sometimes when I'm here, I feel.... and I wonder how much of that is true and how much is my perception." "When I see you in the waiting room with other clients you seem...., and I feel a bit... and wonder if there's anything about me that causes you to feel differently about me."
It's scary. And you have to be ready to hear any answers he's willing to give, or none if he's not willing to give them. But what he does or doesn't say is likely to give you more information to decide whether this is a relationship worth fighting for. They're not all worth fighting for. But some are.
And no matter who you are or aren't with him, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you're too damaged. It might mean that you're not ready, or it might mean that he doesn't have the right qualities to bring out those aspects of yourself that you want to bring out.
poster:Dinah
thread:486548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/486586.html