Posted by B2chica on March 16, 2005, at 9:59:03
In reply to Re: accepting the wrong me » B2chica, posted by gardenergirl on March 15, 2005, at 16:40:16
thanks for the idea GG.
i did this...boy, putting on paper made a difference. i think the biggest consequence that opened my eyes and what may help me in the near future is i put down children. i want them, but i'm scared to death that i'll screw them up. if i act like i did last weekend not only would that be terrible for them, i would NEVER want to inadvertantly hurt them physically or emotionally. and i realized that (especially after this weekend) that i am really NOT in control over these 'extreme' high emotions. if i can't control my actions from this emotion i would most likely somehow hurt my kids-and/or husband. that's the LAST thing i would ever do.
so...
1)i've decided i will talk with pdoc about SOME type of med to control this behavior...
2)i will keep this list in my bag o'cr@p that i carry around everywhere.
3)i have decided to somehow store in the back of my mind...children. hopeing that if i get to an uncontrollable state again i can hopefully release this thought and somehow pull myself back. AND
4)i will discuss this list with my T this week.even though it was such an OBVIOUS thing to do...(and had even thought of it before) i hadn't done it.
you mentioning it...well.
as always...
THANKS!
b2c.
> Hi B2C,
> That sounds like a terrible dilemma. It also sounds not all that uncommon. If you've been living with the "you" you know for a long time, it makes sense to me that a new "you" would be unknown and scary. Lots of folks prefer the known to the unknown. Being ambivalent about change is normal.
>
> What might help is to look at the costs and benefits of potential change. I know this sounds very pragmatic. But it's one of the ways to help someone move from being ambivalent about change to being more committed one way or the other. Try writing out all the things that keep you how you are....what benefits are there to being you as you are now? And what costs or consequences are there? Be brutally honest on both sides. And then what potential benefits and costs might there be to a new you? Again, be brutally honest. This might be something you and your T can work on, too. Because if your T is working towards change and you are not committed to it, you are at cross purposes.
>
> Whatever you decide, I wish you peace and wellness. I like you, AND I think you can be better.
>
> Take care, sweetie.
> gg
poster:B2chica
thread:471255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/471631.html