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Re: Also physical proximity

Posted by shrinking violet on March 8, 2005, at 18:47:44

In reply to Also physical proximity, posted by thewrite1 on March 6, 2005, at 12:15:17

Interesting concept.

My T sits a few feet across from me. We both have chairs, no couches in her office. I find it hard to form eye contact most times, and I find it very uncomfortable when I''m about to cry and trying not to (or I want to cry but can't) because I feel like she's staring me down, or something, and I find myself huddling in the chair to try to "hide" from her gaze. Quite a few times my T has come over to me, or I have gone over to her. Now, my T is in a wheelchair, so maneuvering is a bit more difficult than it would be usually. When she comes over to my chair, she either has to face me and lean in, which brings her closer in proximity but not close enough for much physical contact. Sometimes she manuevers her chair sort-of next to mine, so she's able to hold my hand, or rub my back, or allow me to put my head on her shoulder. I like this best, because I don't have to look at her and it doesn't look as if I'm consciuosly avoiding her eyes, and talking to her is somewhat easier (I use that term very loosely in my case!) since she's *right there* and I don't have to "throw" the words so far across the room. Also, of course, the warmth and nurturing helps quite a bit. I've also gone over to her and knelt next to her, usually while we are looking at the same document or book. I don't mind that much, either, except my legs get tired from crouching, and I feel more like a little kid and I have to restrain myself from leaning my head on her shoulder. :-/ Of course, it all depends on the mood I am in and what's going on....there have been times (especially recently) when my T has asked if she could come over to me and I've said no, or she's offered her customary end-of-session hug and I've walked out of the office purposely avoiding it, even if I want or need it so badly it hurts. Go figure, huh?


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