Posted by alexandra_k on March 8, 2005, at 3:14:24
In reply to Re: Reducing participation in babble » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on March 7, 2005, at 22:14:24
I think it is important to recognise that we can't MAKE people change. We can't STOP people going round and round. We can't MAKE people stop beating up on themselves.
But we can accept them just as they are.
Let them vent
Let them rail
Let them be
And not judge them.In the words of Linehan: 'Acceptance IS change'.
And it is.
Especially if one has never really been accepted before.
But not acceptance for the sake of change.
Just acceptance for its intrinsic value.
For its own sake.Sh*t happens in peoples lives and there is nothing we can do to change that.
But if we are always trying to change people then we give them the implicit message:
'you have to change to be acceptable'
But that is bollocks
(cognitive error #1 of CBT);-)
poster:alexandra_k
thread:467070
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/468135.html