Posted by crushedout on March 3, 2005, at 23:08:55
I've been horribly depressed, especially for the last couple of days. I can't really make sense of it. I have violent suicidal images every night when I go to bed. I'm full of self-loathing and despair.The good news is that therapy is really helping me. I don't understand how it works, but it does. I just feel better afterwards. And my relationship to my new T feels very, very healthy. I like her, I respect her, I look forward to seeing her, but she is not my life or anything close to my life. I don't wish she was anyone other than my therapist (e.g., my lover, my mother, my friend). I know that I am "just" a patient to her and that's fine. I know she cares about me. I know she wants so help me. And that's enough.
It's so weird. It's such a relief. Now I just wish I could be happy.
poster:crushedout
thread:466272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/466272.html