Posted by fallsfall on February 9, 2005, at 9:59:32
In reply to A dependency on your T, posted by mair on February 7, 2005, at 16:06:55
> I've wondered recently whether not wanting to become dependent has actually retarded my therapeutic progress.
I was very dependent on my first therapist (CBT, 8 1/2 years). She saw the dependence as a "thing to be worked on", and her solution was to stretch the time between appointments so that I would "learn that I could stand on my own two feet". So, when I wanted to see her 2/week, I could only go 1/week. When I got comfortable with 1/week, I could only go every other week. It was excruciating for me *all* of the time.
I switched to a Psychodyanmic therapist 1 1/2 years ago. He started out wanting to see me 2/week (she was pushing for every other week at that point). We did 2/week for a number of months, but it didn't feel like enough. Finally, I asked if I could see him 3/week, and we made that change. 3/week feels right to me (in the same way that having 2 kids wasn't enough, but having 3 was plenty). I no longer feel like I'm just holding myself together until my next appointment. I still feel like I have more to talk about than there is time to talk, but it doesn't have the same urgent feel to it. We have settled into a very productive phase.
So, in my case it was my therapist who was fighting the dependence, not me. But I think that her fighting *did* prevent therapy from being productive.
So, yes, "not wanting to become dependent" *can* retard therapeutic progress.
poster:fallsfall
thread:454458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050206/msgs/455366.html