Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 7:35:11
In reply to The difference - » Shortelise, posted by Speaker on January 31, 2005, at 17:52:45
My therapist has an ongoing area of concern in his life. Once, in context to something I said, he told me how much he hates having to answer solicitous questions over and over again.
I took that as a hint, and while I never commented excessively, and never did so in a way that didn't give him leeway in how much to respond, I realized that I didn't have to mention it to be polite. That maybe spending time with his clients was a relief to him in some way.
Since then, I've only ever made a sympathetic comment if it comes up (and it only comes up in context to something I've said). And he quickly turns the topic.
I guess what I'm saying is that there are different ways of being caring. And that perhaps you could reframe the rules in such a way that complying with them can be seen as expressing caring for him.
I suppose there would be some who say that my desire to care for him should be analyzed, but I figure simple person to person human kindness doesn't need to be analyzed unduly.
poster:Dinah
thread:449132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050129/msgs/450933.html