Posted by pretty_paints on January 28, 2005, at 13:41:50
In reply to Re: Offending my T? » messadivoce, posted by Shortelise on January 27, 2005, at 13:22:49
Hiya,
I think what you wrote in your first post is absolutely fine. Not offensive at all.
It's funny, I think that these posts are really useful for therapy. Often when people post, maybe they're rushing or just trying to keep things short, but I notice that people seem to say exactly what they want to say in a fairly to-the-point way.
Loads of things I've wanted to mention to my therapist, I write about in a post. Then I take the post and think "right, I'll base what I'm going to say on this, but pad it out a lot more and explain the whys and wherefores of everything...". And then I end up giving a totally long-winded explanation, with a few lies, a few added bits to protect her, blah blah blah.
Increasingly, I am trying to simply use my post. It usually says exactly what I want to say. All the other stuff, you don't really need.
I think your post was perfect. It explains exactly how you feel. It reads as a nice, considerate explanation, not one which would offend her. I don't think what you wrote about your relationship with her being a lot less close and intense would offend her, it's the truth. There are probably loads of reasons why this relationship isn't as intense as your former one, and therefore she wouldn't expect the same treatment (ie: you inviting her to hear you play). Obviously the issue about people realising you have therapy is important. But also, maybe you feel like before it was something special you wanted to share with your T? You had a close relationship, so you wanted him to be there. Maybe you just feel differently about this T, and you therefore might not WANT her to share this experience with you. That's totally fine.
I would think about maybe printing out your post and giving it to her to read, or reading it to her. I honestly think she would be fine about it and not be offended at all.
Lots of love xxxx
poster:pretty_paints
thread:448466
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050122/msgs/449218.html