Posted by Racer on January 27, 2005, at 17:04:47
If you've been following the serial melodrama entitled Racer's Course, you'll probably understand why it's hard for me to make a decision about this. But I think it might be that I need to look at finding another therapist.
There are a lot of reasons for this, but it all comes back to feeling as if SparklingBright isn't quite the right fit for me. I know that things have changed since I started seeing her, but I also know that I'm not feeling any relief with her, not opening up on things that are really central to me, and am holding my emotions pretty damned closely inside me. And right now, I *need* to talk about things related directly to my AN, and whenever I bring any of them up with her, I find that i have to break concentration to explain them to her. That's not helping my confidence levels.
She is very sweet, and I like her, but I don't feel safe bringing out emotions with her.
So, how do I know if it's time to start looking?
And worst of all, those voices from the Agency From The Planet Distortion keep sounding in my ears, telling me that I'm so screwed up that nothing and no one will ever be able to help me because I'm unwilling to make any effort, etc. I'm beating myself up for not somehow MAKING it work with SparklingBright, as if recognizing that it isn't working is a sign that I *am* as screwed up as those idiots told me I am.
I don't know. Can anyone help?
poster:Racer
thread:448789
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050122/msgs/448789.html