Posted by Pfinstegg on January 26, 2005, at 18:04:56
All this time, I have been working hard in therapy, always trying to say whatever came to mind- no matter how embarrassing. But I wasn't really aware that I never said anything that I didn't know about beforehand- until the last few months. Suddenly, I am saying things I had no idea I was going to say, even a split-second beforehand. Things that simply stunned me! Things that amaze me even months afterward. It's happening more and more often, and my analyst gently pointed out to me that this IS my unconscious speaking! I, too, actually HAVE one! A lot of the things which come out- well, probably all- are implicit memories of childhood abuse and all the painful feelings associated with it. These memories haven't yet become part of my collection of regular memories, and perhaps they never will. They are from a different part of me, which the adult me has had to struggle to accept and listen to. They're implicit, rather than explicit. But, as I'm doing this, I'm starting to feel a lot better-freer, less anxious, more confident, not depressed. The art therapy is a huge help with this process, as one can easily express these implicit memories in a drawing- they just seem to be ready to pour out onto the paper- which seems a safe place for them. When I speak about them, I have to keep saying that , even though they're coming to mind, I'm not sure they are really true. With art therapy, you can just let it happen.
I just thought I'd say that I never really knew that I had an *unconscious*, myself, until now, even though I've read about it a LOT. I was sort of like a person still insisting that the earth was flat, even after all the evidence was in!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:448296
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050122/msgs/448296.html