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Re: Feeling guilty » Dinah

Posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 9:14:36

In reply to Feeling guilty, posted by Dinah on January 23, 2005, at 8:35:12

Dinah, what does being a better client mean? I'm sure he just wants you to take better care of yourself during what he views to be a very vulnerable time. And it doesn't sound like CYA stuff at all. I know you grumble about how you only represent money to him, but I've always had the sense that he does care about you, and what he's doing now sounds like an abundance of care. And you should appreciate that he's obviously taking you very seriously.

I don't think it's a bad thing at all for us to feel responsible to our Ts - whatever it takes to keep us safe.

The time I think I was most dangerous to myself, a very very slight meds change allowed me to start climbing out of the abyss. By slight I mean that all I did was stop taking a drug in the morning and start taking it in the evening. I had no intention of calling my pdoc when i was so bad off because I didn't want to change what I was taking and in my mind, if I wasn't going to change medications, there was no point to speaking with her. I only contacted her under real pressure from my T, and was shocked to discover that the smallest of suggestion could alot for me.

To be honest, I'm kind of surprised that your T doesn't have on-going permission to talk to your pdoc. I think mine just assume it's ok and I've never told either one of them that it isn't. They're part of your "team"; I should think you'd want them working together.

You've heard the old adage haven't you - that no one on their death bed says they wished they'd spent more time at the office? I, as much as you, knows how damaging a poor work environment can be to mental health. More recently, when it's made me feel suicidal, I try to give myself this reality check - that of all the reasons people might have for hurting themselves, some job they hate to begin with and would love not to have, is the stupidist.

Please take all this as seriously as your T is - you know you can always email me, right?

Mair


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