Posted by mair on January 14, 2005, at 18:45:41
In reply to Re: Being A Therapist » mair, posted by Susan47 on January 14, 2005, at 16:10:39
Susan - maybe I'm giving you a rosier picture than is warranted. I mean it's taken me every bit of 5 (probably 6 if I went back and checked my records) years to feel the slightest bit like my therapist cared about me. Alot of that (most of it) is me, but I think some is her also. I don't think she's the kind of therapist who encourages any level of dependency and the impression I had of her for at least the first 2 years or so was that she really wanted nothing to do with her patients outside of her office. We've been back over this ground and I understand where my perceptions come from - what I haven't ever told her, I think, is how hurt and angry I felt when I was at my suicidal worst and yet not feeling like it was ok to call her. And for years I never dared stop therapy for awhile for fear that she would never take me back as a patient. And while I now believe her when she says that she enjoys working on a long term basis with people like me, I'm not altogether convinced that I wasn't right at least some of the times when I thought she'd love to get rid of me.
She has a competency and professionalism that I admire; she's dependable and patient. But I'm rarely bowled over by anything she says to me and it's too disconcerting to me that when she jumps in to finish my sentences, she's so rarely correct in what she thought I was thinking. I don't think she even realizes it when she does say something surprising and remarkable to me. Lot's of times I'm not at all convinced that she understands me - not to give the impression that I'm complicated or anything - I just think she jumps to conclusions a little too readily. I don't necessarily think the lack of understanding is a bad thing - it forces me to say whatever I need to say to make myself understood, but it can be aggravating.
I wouldn't at all mind sending her to the seminar we'd like daisy's therapist to give on how to be a perfect therapist. I'm as bowled over as everyone else around here by some of what she says about him.
I realize that there are real downsides to feeling devoted to and dependent on your T, but given some of my issues, I actually think it would be a good thing for me, at least for awhile. That's no easy task with my T.
On the other hand, I am really glad she loves her job because at least I've mostly gotten over the fear that she's going to just quit practicing.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:441602
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/442318.html