Posted by Shortelise on January 13, 2005, at 0:32:38
In reply to Regret calling my T, posted by thewrite1 on January 12, 2005, at 21:54:36
Writeone, I just don't know what it is, but I have SO often felt what you describe.
The very first time I ever called him, telling him I was beside myself with anxiety and depression, I swear he suggested I go shopping!!! Can you imagine. He says that isn't what he said, or at least not what he meant, but he did! You can imagine how much confidence I felt in him when I hung up the phone. I so long to be one of those confident, quick witted people who could have replied on the spot. As it was it took me about a year to bring it up.
But that was a long time ago - five years or so. Now when I call him, I am able to ask for what I need more easily. Most of the time.
But I do so very well know what you are talking about. The wanting never to see your T again, though it's not really what you want at all. Come to think of it, maybe it's a way of exoressing how badly you feel without having to say it in so many words? I mean, if you call and say you don't want to go back, aren't you expressing great discomfort and unhappiness?
I don't know. Maybe that's not right for you, but thinking about this now, I am sure it was what I was doing. Other times I wanted to hurt him for not being what I needed, and for hurting me.
***sigh***
I wish I could help, but all I can do is tell you I think I know how you feel.
Hugs,
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:441397
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/441463.html