Posted by lifeworthliving on December 19, 2004, at 23:49:15
In reply to Re: 96 meals and counting... » lifeworthliving, posted by 10derheart on December 19, 2004, at 23:29:54
i just don't feel the need to be in contact like i used to. progress? i was going to write because that's what i've always done... and i don't mind hearing from her, i love her and i miss her. then i thought later that i guess i don't really need to write as bad as i thought and maybe it would bug her if i don't, and that's what got me excited! i'm causing her some problem by not writing, and all these years i was sure my writing drove her nuts!!! writing has been a HUGE part of my work. i think she was resistant initially but i've heard enough about it later to know that it helped her to help me, etc. she got another chance to understand me, and sometimes another way, etc. then, i thought if i don't write she'll have proof that i don't need her, and i can't have that because, like dinah, i'm in it forever. the thought of being released on my own recognizence is more than i can bear. i think i know that leaving her someday is going to be ok (i wouldnt' have written this a year ago) but what i can't handle is thinking she might move and i wouldnt' be able to find her. is it appropriate for her to promise me that she won't move, leave or otherwise become available without making sure i know where to find her? i can't remember how exactly she said it but it was similar to making sure i know where to find her, that she would do what was within her power to keep me posted. and even if it's on the other side of the world. it was a relief. it used to cause me considerable worry. how would i always be able to live within two blocks of her office if i can't find it?
poster:lifeworthliving
thread:431880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/431918.html