Posted by Daisym on December 10, 2004, at 20:20:07
In reply to Is this even possible? **Triggers**, posted by memoryleaves on December 10, 2004, at 15:15:33
I'm sorry you are in such pain. I want to reassure you that what you are thinking and feeling IS possible -- you are grieving a loss in a profound way. You were essentially abandoned and had no comfort or explanation. The confusion you must have felt as a child is painful to even think about. Death IS an abandonment to a child - even though it couldn't be helped -- that is how it feels. So it lays down a foundation for your life that is unsteady. Especially since 3 is such a precarious age of pushing away and clinging to parents.
Mourning is a process though. It is intensely bad, lightens up, and then gets bad again. It is possible to soften it by talking through it and by being gentle with yourself. I don't think you can push through it in 2 weeks. But those two weeks might help you stabalize yourself and begin to function again. I have no idea if hospitals will take you if you aren't suicidal. My guess is that they will have you rest at home. You are going through another huge stressor with moving. Don't discount this as adding to your loss.
I think you should call your therapist. I know you are "finished" with her. But the way you sound, you need some help. And she already knows you. She might be able to provide some advice about what to say to the hospital if you decide to go. I'm sure she would want to know the tremendous pain you are in.
Take good care. Hugs from me.
Daisy(btw, there are usually less posters on Friday for some reason so don't take it personal if you don't get many answers until Monday.)
poster:Daisym
thread:427333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/427450.html