Posted by just plain jane on December 5, 2004, at 20:23:29
In reply to Re: About the I am not the victim mantra... » 64bowtie, posted by Gabbix2 on December 4, 2004, at 21:53:26
is often not agreed upon. However, if someone slugged or otherwise did what I consider abuse to anyone in my presence I would do as I have in the past.
Hard as it is, I try to understand the abuser's thoughts at that moment. I delicately suggest that perhaps the dad had a rough day? Maybe mom needs a break? Some kind of neutral icebreaker which opens the door to a discussion, rather than stepping in as defender and totally pi$$ing off the abuser. Once people start talking about their lives and their kids, I get a feel for the appropriate responses.
The point is, I try to leave the abuser aware of his/her wrongdoing, hopefully ashamed (but not openly), thinking about their behavior and how it effects the abused, many other things, and finally that someone cared about them AND their child enough to listen to what's wrong and perhaps help them think of alternatives and solutions. At least, to think.
Yet one more reason people who know me consider me eccentric (when they're being nice).
And sometimes the abuser is just such an a$$hole that I'll wish it were acceptable for me to twist their head off and shove it up their behind... but WAIT!!! They aleady HAVE their head up there.
just plain jane
poster:just plain jane
thread:423305
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041203/msgs/424979.html