Posted by Rigby on November 30, 2004, at 10:45:19
In reply to OK, this time I really did it., posted by crushedout on November 29, 2004, at 21:59:55
Hi Crushed,
It sounds like you did the right thing.
Re the phone call, maybe part of it was that your therapist doesn't want quitting to become another trauma on top of the trauma you've already had (a valid concern about not ending with some peace and closure) but this relationship was not working for you and it may not be possible for you to end it any other way than what you're doing now.
Seems like you needed to save yourself. After how many *years* of feeling like a mess because of your relationship with her it's time to move on. I think you gave it a lot of time and effort but given that you were still in pain you did the right thing--you've changed up strategies to try and help yourself--this is healthy and good.
I hope she doesn't respond to you. And although part of you wants her to, I still hope she lets you be. This isn't a romantic relationship or a cat-and-mouse game--it's your therapy, your life, your money. So, again, I hope she respects your space and lets it go. If she doesn't, it's further confirmation that she's not the professional you need right now.
Keep us posted, keep writing.
> I emailed her the following (unequivocal, no?) email:
>
> "[Ellen],
>
> "Please don't hold any more sessions for me. I will call if I decide it would be helpful for me to come in again.
>
> "Even though you don't understand my reasons yet, I hope you can try to respect my decision to do this in my own way, even if it might not be the way you think it should be done. Please trust that I'm doing what's best for me right now, and know that I'm sorry if it hurts you in any way.
>
> "Best wishes always,
>
> "[crushedout]"
>
> I guess maybe it's *really* over now. Although with her I can't be absolutely sure. I won't be surprised if I at least get a response to my email. And if I don't? Oh sh*t, I'm sure I'll be devastated. That's when I'll really feel the loss. Right now it's surreal.
poster:Rigby
thread:422054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/422329.html