Posted by LG04 on November 29, 2004, at 23:23:56
In reply to walking therapy, posted by Shortelise on November 29, 2004, at 18:23:34
On two different occasions my therapist and i sat outside in a park. the first time i insisted. i don't remember what it was, but i remember that i didn't feel safe indoors, i felt suffocated, i felt desperately like i wanted to be outside in the open air. she was hesitant about the idea but agreed to it and it was fine for both of us. i really appreciated her flexibility. it was a little harder to concentrate/focus, and of course i couldn't cry my eyes out :) but it was a meaningful session. a little less formal, and i saw her more as a person. it was very interesting.
the second time happened once when i came to her office (she works with a consortium of women) and one of the therapists was with a client in the room where we were supposed to meet. so she asked if it was okay to sit outside in the park like we once did. i wasn't thrilled about it but did it anyway and it was okay but more difficult b/c it was in the afternoon and kids were running everywhere. we're both ADD so we have to be careful about external distractions!
i don't think my therapist would have been willing to do it on a regular basis but once in a while, if for some reason i really wanted to, she would be okay with it. we have also discussed going for a walk but for whatever reason it hasn't happened. Usually I want her all to myself without distractions so I prefer in her office. Also I cry a lot! also recently when i was visiting the country where she lives (if you haven't read any of my recent posts, i moved back to america from living in another country), i got strep throat and it was my last week there and she came to where i was staying for our session b/c i was too sick to come to her.
lastly, the last time i saw her before officially moving back here, she came to my apartment for our final session. i so much wanted her to see where i had been living, to meet my cats, to see the balcony with the view where i always called her from and told her about, it was so important to me that she see my space. we discussed the idea and decided it would be okay. it was amazing. it was such a special meeting with her. it was perfect. i will remember it for the rest of my life. and it was so much easier for me to say goodbye to her with her leaving my space, rather than me walking out of her space.
i have always appreciated her willingness to be flexible and to be willing to go outside the box once in a while to meet my needs. i know it might not work for everyone but it has worked for me. (and continues to work for me as we speak by phone twice a week. i would have been devestated if i had to terminate with her and never speak to her again. it would have destroyed everything we had built, everything i had learned from her about relationships and all the trust and everything. and i think she knew that. it would have taken me months and months to get over, minimally.) Eventually i will speak to her less (it used to be four times a week so we are already speaking half the time we used to) but she said she is here for as long as it takes. i will continue to pay her, a small fee each month.
she is a big believer that different people need different things and not to stick to one plan for everybody. She is my fifth therapist if I count the first one who was a total asshole and emotionally abusive. I never wanted to talk about or focus on my relationship with a therapist before but with her it was different. Something about the dynamics between us made this therapy different than the others. she has made some mistakes with me but i have learned an incredible amount about myself and about relationships from the intimacy i share with her. And I’ve learned from her mistakes. And i love her dearly and always will.
poster:LG04
thread:421409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/422140.html