Posted by pegasus on November 24, 2004, at 23:39:35
In reply to Different emphasis on attachment - pegusus, posted by littleone on November 24, 2004, at 14:59:41
Hmm, interesting. Just when I was concluding that I wanted a less strong attachment this time around. But I agree that some attachment does seem necessary to facilitate good therapy.
Well, what we discussed in that conversation was that my old T had a more heirarchical style, where he was taking a role as a teacher or guide. So, I took a role as a student or follower. I think this set us up to have a more parent-child type of relationship, which led to a lot of attachment. Because, children need to be attached to their parents after all (and vice versa I suppose).
So, my new therapist believes in a model where the tone feels more like a collaboration. I don't get the feeling from her so much that she knows that much more than I do. We're both figuring it out together. For me, part of that is physical: we tend to sit on the floor together on different sides of a coffee table, where I do my art projects. To me, that feels more grounded, and intimate, and less formal, and more like girlfriends talking things through. Which is a lot different than my old T who always sat in his special chair (and I in a much inferior chair or on the floor or couch), and tended to go into lectures about things, and always seemed to know more than I did.
I don't know whether it's the different styles that have made me feel differently about these two Ts, but I do know that with my old T, I felt painfully dependent. With my new T, I look forward to seeing her, but it's mainly for the work, not as much for her (although I do like her). I am much less obsessed with her, less touchy about exactly what she says, more ok about missing a session here and there. It feels a lot more healthy. And it seems to me that we're still doing some really big work in therapy.
I'd be interested in any other theories about why this might feel different. But I do think their different styles is part of it.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:419798
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/419980.html