Posted by Aphrodite on November 21, 2004, at 15:26:56
In reply to I don't like my T anymore. :( Lengthy!, posted by antigua on November 21, 2004, at 11:14:17
Antigua,
Your post made me cry. What a sad thing for you -- I'm so impressed, though, that you've actually been able to tell this to her. What an incredibly open relationship you've been able to build.
I think your conclusion is hard one to come to that you're not going to have the unconditional mother you so deserved. This is a big issue for me, too. So, if your illusion of your T being this for you has been shattered, can you work on what the relationship *can* be from now on? I've often asked my T that in light of the parental abuse and neglect, things I can never change, what is the best I can possibly hope for? It always leads to a good discussion.
For me, I've found being a good mother to my own child is very healing. It's nice to be able to give what I never received. But I am all too aware that I while I can *imagine* it, I do not know what it is like to be a little child having her hair stroked, being lavished with unconditional love, being comforted when crying, and that is a lot to mourn. A lot.
But there is much to hope for, too. And I think that, all things considered, it seems like your T is a very special person, and perhaps your relationship is just about to change and take on a whole new dynamic. After mourning the loss of your T as mother, you may be able to have something new and positive come from it.
I'm sending lots of good vibes your way. Your words really moved me. (((Antigua)))
poster:Aphrodite
thread:418602
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/418682.html