Posted by antigua on November 21, 2004, at 14:52:27
In reply to Re: Preverbal pain, includes possible trigger » gardenergirl, posted by Poet on November 21, 2004, at 14:34:22
Locking it up is a very good strategy when it all becomes overwhelming. I have done that many times in the past and it has been helpful for me. I've slowly gotten stronger and have had to put less in the box, but the box is always there when I need it. If I need to, I remember how I used to make myself safe as a young girl, eating M&Ms, drinking a coke (real luxuries for me as a kid) and reading in my special tree or window seat. That's how I escaped.
I'm having lots of company for the holiday (my mother included. I've never discussed what my father and her father did to me because I'm just not ready, or may never be), but I have lots of things to help me get through my feelings now, including having scheduled a T session this week when I normally wouldn't go before the holidays. My main goal is remembering that alcohol and my family do not mix and I will keep myself safe. (My relatives have all turned into teetotalers now, so it's easier!)But rest assured, there will be plenty of chocolate!! I just made fudge and if I need more I can make more!
I accept now that some of my memories are preverbal and I may never know them, but I'm trying hard to release the very, very scary feelings and not questioning so much what it all means. I never really believed in "physical memories" before, but I know they are part of the process.
Poet and gg--It may sound silly, but I'm really proud of you both. I know how hard it is...
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:418631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/418672.html