Posted by Froso on November 15, 2004, at 13:53:07
I don't understand what went wrong and I need meds now and therapy. I've been living in a vicious circle as my T calls it for the last three years, unable to move on with my life. My psychotic episode marked an halt to my social and student life (at least I did manage to get my MA from a distance) and made me realize that what I was feeling before wasn't "normal" or my fate (to be unhappy) but can be defined in terms of "mental problems." But I just don't understand. My T talks about emotional/mental abuse and neglect by my parents but I don't remember and both my parents deny it (they got a divorce when I was 8. I lived with my mother and grandmother until I was 15 when my mother sent me to my father because we had been fighting all the time. Then I went to England and now I'm back with my mother and grandmother. I'm 27 yrs old now, perhaps too young and immature for this site.) When I talk to my T I feel I'm accusing my parents and although I have only bad memories from my childhood (an inexplicable sadness especially during early adolescence) I know they can't be true. I told my T I need her to take care of me and she said my parents hadn't taken care of me when I was a kid but my mother wasn't working and she fed me and played with me and took good care of me when I was ill. It just doesn't seem to make sense. How will I know that there was indeed deprivation and emotional abuse and it's not just my T's fantasy? If there had been something overt and violent, I would have had an excuse for being ill now.
poster:Froso
thread:416280
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041113/msgs/416280.html