Posted by Poet on November 11, 2004, at 16:07:21
I was scared, but I did it. I gave her a note with some of the bad stuff that I just can't talk about. After she read it, she said *I thought there was more than what you were telling me.* She gave it back to me and I ripped it up.
I told her that I couldn't really talk about it openly, but she could try to ask questions, which she did. I gave a lot of yes and no answers and tried to deny things, but at least she knows some of what has been eating away at me mentally for 40 some years.
At the end of the session she said, *I know this session has been very, and I don't want you taking any of this pain back with you. What can we put it in?*
We both closed our eyes and I imagined a wood box with a strong lock. There is a cover over the lock so nothing can escape through the keyhole.
She asked where we should put it and I said on her bookcase, the second from the top shelf is empty. She asked if I felt that was far enough away, and so I said to move it to the very top out of both of our reaches.
I have the mental key. I hope I can keep my mind from trying to get in that box and letting the pain back in.
I wonder how many invisible boxes of pain are in my therapist's office? It would be horrid if all the bad stuff broke out at once. Like Pandora's box.
Hope the lock holds and I don't let myself get in that box without her being with me.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:414660
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041104/msgs/414660.html