Posted by Dinah on September 30, 2004, at 23:01:52
In reply to Re: Mystery solved, I suppose, posted by tryingtobewise on September 30, 2004, at 22:51:51
I'm sorry. What I was trying to say was that *now* I don't find life worth living. I have been increasingly depressed and living with increased suicidal feelings since I started "growing up". It might be partially coincidence, because I've got a heck of a lot on my plate right now in terms of stress and potential losses.
I always compared my relationship with my therapist to that of a very young blind pup to its milky mother. And I'm afraid that like it or not, that pup is growing up and becoming less dependent. And everyone insists on seeing that as a good thing, because we're culturally indoctrinated to think that way.
But I think it's a terrible thing. Every time you change you gain something and you lose something. I think what I lost is infinitely more valuable than what I've gained. I don't think I can live with the loss. I don't want to live with the loss. I'd rather die than grow up. I want to go back.
poster:Dinah
thread:397645
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/397672.html