Posted by gardenergirl on September 25, 2004, at 17:25:58
In reply to I wish I were wise, not full of whys, posted by Poet on September 24, 2004, at 17:41:36
Poet dear,
I can hear that you are feeling so down. I've been wrapped up in work identity at times too, and when it ends, for whatever reason, it is just awful. In fact, at my internship I just started this week, the person who is leaving was sad that her mailbox is gone already. It's a little thing, but we all like to think that we made a difference that will last. And then your name goes away, and it feels a bit like a piece of you was scraped off and replaced.Also, I didn't work all summer (I was supposed to be using that time for my dissertation). I was more depressed this summer than I've been in awhile. It was awful experiencing that setback. Especially since I was in therapy and was supposed to be getting better, right?
I found even in just this one week, that being back to doing what I love has been very helpful. Now I know that finding work is very very hard, especially right now in this economy. Is there something you can perhaps as a volunteer or just for yourself that you just love? Something you can treat as a job of sorts that would give you some structure in your day if it's needed (believe me, I needed it this summer but didn't create it). Or something that will make you feel good about what you created, contributed, experienced? These are all important things to feeling good about oneself. Behavioral therapy for depression would say you need to do more of what you enjoy, even if you don't feel like doing it, and do more of what makes you feel good about yourself and competent. Even if you don't feel it right now.
Can you think of anything? I know you are not a failure. How can you be, when you are still evolving? Maybe this time is a time to just sit still and let life flow over you a bit like a stream, until you find the branch or boat or whatever you want to hang onto and travel with for a bit?
((((Poet))))
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:394662
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040925/msgs/394970.html