Posted by crushedout on September 19, 2004, at 20:37:08
In reply to Re: I'm a broken record ****TRIGGER**** » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on September 14, 2004, at 22:01:33
hey falls,sorry i've been so remiss about responding. i read and appreciated your post very much as soon as you posted it, but i've been very sporadic about babbling these days.
i think i'm really bad at knowing when to quit stuff, too (isn't that funny how it seems to contradict our bpd cutting people out of our lives supposed tendency?).
i feel stuck with this t now also, like we aren't making progress, but it's still hard to know whether that means we never can. i think i've tried really hard but i always think there are ways i haven't tried hard enough. i've been trying to express my transference issues to my t for over a year now and i don't know if it can possibly be right for it to take this long. i feel like she gets it but then i wonder how she can, because if she did she would see this as much more urgent an issue. she *should* know how much pain i'm in -- i keep telling her.
at the same time, i feel like i'm not explicit enough. i get embarrassed going into the details. she feels like i keep convincing her that i have a serious problem but that she still doesn't know exactly what the problem is, what i'm feeling. i'm not sure if that's right but it might be.
i like what you say about being brutally honest and then if it doesn't get better, i can give up knowing i gave it my all. but the problem is that i recall promising myself to try that strategy many times before, and it seems i've never actually been able to follow through with it in a way that makes me feel satisfied that i've done everything i can. so i'm scared this broken record will never end. it's getting to be a real drag.
thanks as always for your wisdom, falls.
poster:crushedout
thread:390499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/392751.html