Posted by lucy stone on September 10, 2004, at 5:52:55
In reply to Re: In defense of Male Therapist *trigger?*, posted by Dinah on September 9, 2004, at 21:51:49
> I'm not far behind you. Forties. With same guy for 25+ years, married over ten.
>
> But my problems are so very basic. I couldn't kiss my dates back when I was dating because kissing felt like being smothered. My now husband was the only exception. But years into our relationship that smothering fear came back. Touching is an irritant. Intercourse is painful.
>
> And trying to do anything to make any of it better *feels* like I'm being a facilitator to my own... Oh never mind. But the upshot is that I sabotage any attempts on my part to make things any better.
>
> With that level of dysfunction and that much resistance to change, this latest effort is also doomed to failure and I might as well give up and cancel and save myself the money and stress.
>
I'm not fond of being kissed, even by my husband, but it sounds like you are more adverse to it than I am. I also don't find sexual touching particularly arousing unless I am doing the touching because of my control issues. That's where a vibrator helps us, he can do the stimulating without directly touching me. Dysfunctional, I know. I didn't say it was perfect, just better. You could get the surgery your gyn recommended to help with the painful intercourse. I'm resonably certain that she could find a way to code it that would make the insurance company pay. Do you think your T could help you with the resistance to change at all? I have told my T that sometimes I feel like giving up on the whole sex thing altogether and he says of course that's an option but I can tell he doesn't think it's one I should exercise. He wants me to live a fuller life in all ways and sex is part of that. If you T could help with the resistance the sex therapist is much more likely to be able to help the dysfunction.
poster:lucy stone
thread:388732
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040905/msgs/389091.html