Posted by daisym on August 11, 2004, at 0:36:33
I had an odd experience today during my son's therapy appointment. He had an unexpected, full-blown panic attack last week so his therapist asked me to bring him in today so they could check in and figure out what was going on. In the past, I have sat in on sessions with him (he is 12) because he does better when he has me in the room. But for the past few months, he has been doing it himself and had actually moved to once per month. He was "down the hall" when his therapist came to get him, so he invited me in instead. When my son came back, we all just continued talking about what happened, why, etc., so I didn't leave.
About half way through, I floated away some and was observing what was going on while still sort of participating. I realized that I was the only one sitting on the couch (they were both in chairs) and I was holding on to the couch pillow, like I do during my own therapy sessions. And I realized that I could feel a great deal of sadness coming from my younger self, who is often "out" during my own therapy sessions. She definitely was missing our therapist and waiting her turn.
It is strange to think that I've trained myself to respond to the therapeutic setting so completely. At one point we were talking about something hard and painful...and my son's therapist asked me what I thought we should do. I heard this little kid voice say, "I have no idea." Now, I don't usually admit to having no ideas, especially where my own children are concerned (it is rare that I actually don't)...and I did recover quickly and make myself concentrate more on the conversation.
But driving home and even now, I feel this creeping sadness that is not connected to my son. I really think it is my younger self missing our therapist. She is hugely disappointed that she didn't see him today. I didn't expect this. I wonder what he will say about it tomorrow? I will add that I am horribly vulnerable this week as my therapist is leaving for vacation on Friday.
Anyone else had this happen? Has the setting or something else triggered your "therapy" persona?
poster:daisym
thread:376261
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040805/msgs/376261.html