Posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 10:12:54
In reply to Re: amazingly strong! JenStar, posted by JenStar on August 6, 2004, at 0:01:20
Thanks for your insight. I feel very much that becoming too reliant on a therapist is a bad idea... and I let my therapist know that, too. I believe he was ready to take on the role of Father Knows Best, but I never did allow that. Perhaps that was my own issue. BUt honestly, JenStar, I was falling in *love* with the man. I had to ask him to stop giving me visual feedback. Sometimes when I said something that he didn't swallow, I could *read* the disappointment on his face. And when I said things that he related to well, I read that too, and I thought, "here's a really nice person, he's gorgeous and he cares,.... and he's like this with everyone, hon, remember that." So my defences were immediately up about that. I knew I would be hurt because I couldn't separate him from the job he was doing. And we just ended up having a terrible *therapeutic* (hah) relationship. Maybe it's just not a good idea to go to a therapist whom you're really attracted to.
Giving him too much credit? I mean, there were times I felt like I was going to really hurt myself, and I was frightened, and I called his ans. mach. saying how I felt, and he never once brought these things up in session. It would have been helpful if he taught me some coping skills, and gave me something to hang onto at the times when that happened, something he said, perhaps, but he let me down. I really believe that if I had killed myself, it would have been a relief to him. So that's what I mean by giving him too much credit.
Thanks for listening.
poster:Susan47
thread:372818
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040805/msgs/374661.html