Posted by daisym on July 8, 2004, at 0:20:18
In reply to Re: It was upsetting. » terrics, posted by Dinah on July 7, 2004, at 10:41:18
Dinah,
The post I responded to was on social but thanks for the follow up. It does sound like our issues are different in someways but I was painfully shy as a young child then I "snapped" out of it in 11th grade. Since then I've been more outgoing, and more willing to be a joiner. I still prefer to be in charge, to lead or facilitate. This gives me the control I need to hide my feelings and just use my head.
I think change is a part of life and relationships. But I think there are long term friendships or family ties that change, grow and get stronger. It is sad to be "left" in some ways. It is also hard to leave. We moved every 2 yrs. when I was a kid, up until high school, so I have a real thing about NOT going anywhere now. I like that my children have grown up in the same neighborhood all their lives. It is a topic in therapy a lot for me. Am I now pathologically stable?
I guess what I was wondering about is this idea of being alone in a crowd. I think being in therapy makes me want every conversation to "count." Partly because I'm in enough pain that I don't have much energy for "just" chatting. And partly because I have to monitor that some of my sadness doesn't sneak out and get seen. Especially at work. Isolating is easier and less stressful for these reasons. I feel lonely but I feel lonely with people anyway.
It is complicated, isn't it?
poster:daisym
thread:363583
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/363913.html