Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2004, at 9:44:35
In reply to Re: Telephone calls to your T » rockymtnhi, posted by DaisyM on June 29, 2004, at 21:38:56
> Coded messages don't work either. If you say, "you don't have to call me back" but you really want them to...you might get your feelings hurt. Ask for what you need.
Wise wise words, Daisy. I used to think I don't want to bother him, and I don't want for him *not* to call when I've asked him too because that will really hurt, so I'll tack on the "you don't have to call me back", but he'll understand that that really means "if this is really a bother and you don't want to call me back you don't have to, but i'd really like you to call me back if it isn't a terrible imposition but I'm putting it this way so that if you don't call back I won't be tremendously hurt." When I said "you don't have to call me back" he didn't hear "you don't HAVE to call me back" he heard "you DON'T have to call me back.
It works a lot better if you just tell them what you need. They may or may not give it, but you've got a lot better chance. Or maybe next time I'll just be honest and say "if this is really a bother and you don't want to call me back you don't have to, but i'd really like you to call me back if it isn't a terrible imposition but I'm putting it this way so that if you don't call back I won't be tremendously hurt."
Stream of consciousness voice mail.
poster:Dinah
thread:361431
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/361950.html