Posted by snapper on June 11, 2004, at 15:17:10
In reply to First time on this part of Babble, posted by Scott in Vermont on June 11, 2004, at 13:33:15
> It's really slow today at work, so I decided to surf around Babble and found this thread. It's one I can identify with on both sides.
>
> When I gained my heaviest weight (over 250) I didn't want to see a mirror because I still saw myself as the handsome mid-20's rake that I had been while I was in the Army. Mirrors were reality. My size 40 pants were not reality, because while they were larger, they fit (I hid the size 30 pants I used to wear). My short breaths were not reality, that was just from smoking. Mirrors were reality. Mirrors exposed the uncensored truth. I hated mirrors.
>
> However, mirrors helped me a lot when I was suicidal. I knew the person staring back at me wasn't happy, I knew that person used to be someone else... I knew that person... I knew that person was me. In the mirror, looking back at me, was the "me" I was losing. It was the "me" that was going to die. It was the "me" that was still trying so hard to live. Mirrors (and the ability to talk to myself without feeling like a nut ball) helped me a lot.
>
> Nowadays, mirrors are my friend. I absolutely LOVE that handsome rake who grins back at me in the mirror. He's lost his weight, he's shaved his beard (the one he used to hide behind because he had no jaw line) he's got a military haircut, and you know... for 36 years old, he sure does look an awful lot like someone who used to look back at me in the early 90's.
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> My vote? Mirrors are neutral and inanimate objects that merely reflect back that which we think we see.Scott I can relate. Mourning my former self. I avoid mirrors most of the time . I don't like to look at my pictures of what I looked like when I was young and still had my looks,was tan and not an overwheight neurotic angst ridden depressive. Vanity is really just that- skin deep. Its funny and very horrible at the same time what this mental beast will do to ones self -esteem. Glad you are feeling better! :)
snapper
poster:snapper
thread:355682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/355807.html