Posted by Rigby on May 21, 2004, at 12:46:20
In reply to A new theory of mine, posted by Dinah on May 21, 2004, at 11:52:19
Hi Dinah,
This is an interesting thought. I wonder though if therapy is working--and working well--it should be about recogizing our dreams and desires and also, by remembering, re-thinking and in a sense re-training old patterns, we are able to potentially achieve some of what we wish for (not all but some.) My sense is if we're in a painful holding pattern around feeling that we can never have what we want (e.g. a sense of emotional equality with our therapists) then maybe it's not the right therapist? Or maybe it's just the stuff is so deep it's hard for the feelings to pass? Or you could argue, if the therapist was good, they'd move you through those feelings, eventually, without it taking forever? Just thinking outloud here...
> I think the purpose of therapy is to teach us that we can't have all that we want, and that that's not as bad or as scary as we think it is.
>
> I think the artificial setup of the therapist's office is nearly guaranteed to make us care more for them than they care for us. And that hurts like h*ll. So some of us are afraid to want what we know we can't have. And some of us are in enormous pain to not be able to get what we want. And so therapy teaches some of us that it's ok to want, and some of us that it's ok to not have. And all of us that it's ok to want what we can't have. And for some of us, it expands our potential horizons. And for others of us, it soothes our anger. And for some of us, both.
>
> But so far it's just an idea, not really even a theory.
poster:Rigby
thread:349242
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040512/msgs/349258.html