Posted by spoc on April 24, 2004, at 16:28:11
In reply to Re: Hurting therapist's feelings?, posted by shadows721 on April 24, 2004, at 14:47:05
> My answer - I agree it is scary, do in a way that feels safest to you.>
> Your question - "Will he suggest a weaning off to make it easier for both of us?" >
> My comment & suggestion - He may or may not suggest that, but it is ultimately up to you. How would you like to terminate the therapy - gradually or on one day? >> Your question - "How will it end?" >
> My answer- In whatever way makes you feel comfortable. This is your therapy and you end it in a way that is best for you. >-------
....and, like gardenergirl also said, the time period over which it happens varies with the individual. Myself, when I had truly made up my mind that what was right for me was to leave, I ended up splurging on about six additional sessions in a row, because he wouldn't let on that anything about my decision or ability to decide was valid. It really wasn't a matter of "Who am I trying to convince, the other person or myself?" I *was* convinced. But I guess I don't like being misunderstood or thought to be unreasonable. So I'll hover around an issue like a yellow jacket, looking to clarify my meaning, if not seek actual agreement.And a T who cares about you may be hesitant to think leaving is right. So I guess one has to think a lot about how sure they are of the decision, or if in reality they are open to a few additional sessions to examine it. Or even merely to explain it, which may serve anywhere from both parties, to mainly the other one. My T relationship wasn't close like yours. But in my case, after I hit that six or so session mark, I wanted to say "Look, I've made up my mind. If it's this important to you to resist that, maybe we should consider any future visits sales calls, for which you shouldn't charge me."
SORRY if that is harsh or inappropriate here! Obviously it also had to do with an assertiveness problem. Best wishes!
poster:spoc
thread:339530
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339595.html