Posted by fallsfall on April 22, 2004, at 8:15:15
In reply to I yelled at my therapist, posted by Medusa on April 21, 2004, at 15:45:50
Medusa,
I'm sure that your therapist has made some mistakes - she's in training, right? But I think that you attribute ALL of her mistakes, and EVERYTHING that you don't like about therapy to her inexperience. I'm not sure that is a valid assumption.
Some of the things that you complain about are things that I've complained about with my therapist (who is very good 15+ years experience). Particularly the going on and on in an unhelpful direction. That drives me crazy.
You are obviously very bright. They say that intellegence is an advantage in therapy - but I think there are distinct disadvantages. I, also, want to know why he asks the questions he does. And I read a *lot* and try to figure out his angle. There are times I think faster than he does (though he really is smart - these times are probably just because I've done more prior thinking about the subject matter), and I get impatient.
I am learning (this is my 9th year in therapy, though only my 9th month with this therapist) that the less I think about *how* therapy is being done, and the more I just *experience* it the more I learn. This means *not* preparing long lists of things to talk about. This means *not* rehearsing the entire therapy session. This means that the session can go in directions that I wasn't planning (and am not prepared for) - and sometimes this drives me crazy. Particularly when there are things I REALLY want to talk about. But even when he does this to me, in almost all cases, the direction he wants to go in is at least as important as the one I wanted to go in.
I know that you want her to be "on" for each of your sessions, but this really isn't different than Dinah's situation. Your therapist is human. And there are times when her failures and humanness are the elements of therapy that will teach things to you. (There is a thread on this http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/337151.html)
I find that the magnitude of your anger is really large - and I find that with myself, when my emotions are out of proportion to the situation that I am feeling "old" emotions. That the current situation is bringing up unconscious memories of things that happened long ago. Sometimes it is really hard to connect the present and the past, but I have found it valuable.
I guess that my point is that it might be worth being "open to the possibility" (my therapist's favorite phrase) that your anger may be caused more by your issues than by her inexperience. If it is, then this is a really good opportunity to explore this with her. I'm not asking you to agree with me that this is your issue and not hers - just that you consider that it might be possible.
Good luck.
poster:fallsfall
thread:338441
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338736.html