Posted by pegasus on April 11, 2004, at 15:59:47
In reply to How could T/transference, posted by terrics on April 11, 2004, at 11:53:09
Hi terrics,
I say this all the time, but I really want to repeat it again. Just ignore me if you're getting sick of this.
I don't think relationships are either/or in terms of transference. I think there's a bit of transference in every relationship, and a bit of unique stuff that relates only to that particular relationship. Gardenergirl had a great post on it a while back. I'll link to it here again if I can find it.
So, your T saying that your feelings for each other are *not* transference sounds suspicious to me. It sounds to me as though she does not completely understand what transference is. In which case, her opinion about that would not be valid. And if she does understand it, then I wonder on what basis she's deciding that your relationship is somehow free from it.
Transference isn't the same as delusion, really. It just means that your life experiences have given you a tendency to look at and behave within relationships in certain ways, based on past relationships that you've been in. I don't get how one could have any relationship that is free from those effects. Although, certainly, some are more prone to it than others. And therapy is the classic case where we expect it to crop up especially strongly, because of the strength of the relationship.
Anyone, feel to correct me if I'm wrong here.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:335182
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/335271.html