Posted by tinydancer on April 9, 2004, at 4:25:23
In reply to Re: Multiple Personality: A shameful, nonexistent dx?, posted by shadows721 on April 9, 2004, at 2:34:56
shadows said:
> I am also DID. It is like a shameful dx. I never have felt that what I have was so wonderful.
I kind of battle with this one too. A lot of people are very fascinated by it and often I feel that my own problems are dwarfed by being a multiple. I think the shame is entertwined (for me) with the belief factor-like you said, people want proof. (Excluding my family-they already had the proof after living with me for 18 years!)
It sounds very painful to have to feel you have to hide yourself. I know being a multiple opens one up to a lot of vulnerability. I feel so afraid sometimes, or forget where I am or what I'm doing, and I'm too afraid to do anything about it. Often things can be so confusing to me, I can't process it at all in my head if certain alters are present. It's very brave of you to choose to open up to those three people you mentioned. I know how extraordinary it can seem to other people-being a multiple-and it is hard to put it into words. I often find that my alters intervene, they may not want me to divulge certain information and that complicates it more.
> I find that when someone hears that someone is DID they want to see proof. That is abusive in my view. They are wanting to see rapid switching. I don't share my dx with many, because I know they will look for it.I agree. I would never share my dx with anyone but my family. I have a best friend who knows but it is incidental because of the fact we both were in group therapy together. She has expressed a lot of doubt mixed with confusion. A lot of people think its schizophrenia, or don't understand how it is to hear voices. There is so much misunderstood about this condition which makes it very hard to open up about it at all. I think its terrible to be put into the third degree about a diagnosis and then to have to prove it. I don't really care who believes it or who doesn't. All I know is what I experience daily, and my T tells me that is MPD. I don't really focus so much on the dx itself because it isn't that important to me.
>I think DID people share some similiarities, but each person is different and so is their level of functioning.I agree. And I can vary in my own level of functioning. I'm in a pretty low period right now. But I think that it is a comfort to me to hear from other people who have MPD that they understand what I'm describing or have experienced similar things. It means a lot to know I'm not alone.
Thank you for contributing, it means a to me that you stepped forward with your thoughts.
poster:tinydancer
thread:334109
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/334412.html