Posted by Rigby on March 31, 2004, at 12:11:07
In reply to Subtle flirting? » Rigby, posted by Racer on March 31, 2004, at 7:51:36
Hey Racer,
It's very cool that you're super clear on flirting--you've got good boundaries around it.
I guess what might be a bit dangerous is that there is a lot of sexual tension but neither party has said anything to one another (although it's pretty obvious.) He's probably pretty confused too because I'm gay (or I *thought* I was!)
I am considering talking to my girlfriend about it--I don't want to hurt her unneccessarily but I am thinking I don't want to feel like I'm hiding stuff which puts a wall between us. We've got a 14 hour flight to Paris this afternoon so that'll give me some time!! ;)
Rigby
> Well, OK, it depends on what you mean. Some of my flirting is pretty subtle, but most of it is pretty obvious. What it's not is Sexually Motivated. I do draw that distinction, and prefer Vanilla Flirting, if you will. What I mean is that my flirting tends to be, "gee, you're so nice, and so smart, and wow! You can do so many things so well!" Not, "Hey, big boy, you're so big and strong and sure to be great naked..." You know what I mean? More complimentary, less sexuality.
>
> There's them as might say if it's not about sex, it ain't flirting. To them say I, "rubbish!" Flirting is flirting. If you add a healthy dose of sex, it becomes Seduction, instead, and that's not what I'm after. (Well, most of the time...)
>
> If you enjoy flirting, and you can remind yourself that it is *only* flirting, go ahead. Worst thing that can happen is you both enjoy flirting and go home to your partners with a little extra joy to bring to that relationship. If you have any doubts, though, talk to your therapist about this.
>
> Hope that helps.
poster:Rigby
thread:329829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/330824.html