Posted by milahra on March 28, 2004, at 20:55:32
In reply to Re: Manic Defence and therapy » milahra, posted by Dinah on March 28, 2004, at 18:24:24
To Gardenergirl, terrics and Dinah,
thank you *very* much for your welcome. It was lovely to feel that I am, in fact, part of a community here.
I have *so* much to say over time. My own history of psychiatric disturbance - and different diagnoses - goes back over 30 years. Along with that, of course, like all of us who must contend with difficult and complex thought and mood disturbance, I have learned a great deal about myself. Till now, that hasn't freed me of it, but I am much more confident in my direction.
I'm just sorry that so many others see my "lack" and not the strength behind what I've learned.
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I actually want to address a couple of things which you mention, Dinah, but rather than cover it all in one post, I will start a new thread after this: "Practical obsessivness".
I too can induce my "hypomanias" and, like you, they are unavoidable if I am overtired or go off meds (Sodium Valproate, Prozac and occasional Diazepam). I have also found that monthly hormonal changes (even though I've passed menopause) greatly contribute to my "highs". I recognize a collection of symptoms then: can't sleep as well, bowel upset, general feeling of weakness etc. (Maybe it is the tiredness that again triggers the highs?)
Whatever is it is that physically predisposes me to my "highs", I also know well by now that they **always** respond to methods that **don't** involve any physical interference - even if I don't take my meds. It is just much harder in that case to stay centred. I'm *much* more easily thrown off centre when tired or off meds.
Like you, I never become fully manic. It is many years ago, and only for a short time, that I was thought to be bipolar. It's not been on the agenda since. [ Psychiatry itself has learned a lot over the years :) ] What hurts and surprises me to an extent, is the number of people who can't see past "bipolar" even when I explain that I am *not*. People like to stay with what is most familiar. "Mania" is well known in the wider community, and my behaviour is *clearly* hypomanic. "Manic defence" isn't well known even in the psych community, and I find that sad.
The best thing (about the *only* thing) I've ever read about manic defence is an article written years ago by Greg Mogenson, a Jungian Analyst titled "Escaping to the Angels: A Note on the Passing of the Manic Defense". For anyone who would like to read it, the URL is:
http://www.cgjungpage.org/content/view/121/28/
I know that hypmania is well known to enable us to accomplish things, as you say you can do, but mine mostly don't. They are *so* related to stress and fear that I am unable to achieve anything.
I talk easily. Hope that is ok?!
Will catch up again. Thank you again for the welcome. I'll try to make the new thread about obsessiveness shorter! :)
For now,
milahra
poster:milahra
thread:293
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329612.html