Posted by Donna Louise on March 28, 2004, at 20:15:47
In reply to Re: Has anyone heard of a-sensitive?, posted by Noni on March 28, 2004, at 6:32:46
> I have no idea what a-sensitive is, but I need somewhere to post this query, and perhaps it sort of fits in.
>
> This is going to sound really very bizarre, but when I was younger (child to mid/late teens)I felt very strongly for people, animals, and inanimate objects. Photographs, too. In fact, whenever I had a photograph of someone, it felt strongly as if they were in the room and I imagined that they saw and heard every word and if anyone said anything bad about them, it cut me to the core because I imagined how hurt they would be.
> When my sister threw a toy across the room or rejected and criticised a particular toy or object, I got this great pain in my heart and felt very protective of whatever it was that had been rejected. This was such a powerful feeling that I actually told people that I 'had feelings for things' in an effort to get them to treat things with a bit more respect and because I felt so uncomfortable when they didn't. It then led to quite cruel teasing from my sister and then on to nervous tics, many of which involved feeling a strong compulsion to stroke whatever item had been rejected or criticised. These feelings have lessened over the years, but they still linger in little ways. I'm wondering if this is - well, not normal, but if it rings a bell with anyone. A psychic once told me that I was 'so, so too sensitive' and I'm wondering if she was referring to that, as she was bang on about so many other things. Perhaps it's just my transferring my own fear of rejection on to other things. I'm so embarrassed about it as an adult, that I haven't even told my therapist. However, she recently asked me to buy a doll and cut the doll instead of myself whenever I feel like self-harming, and that suggestion appalls me so much that I wonder if I really have grown out of my 'feelings for things'. Is it something worth bringing up with my therapist, do you think?
>
> Does anyone else recognise any of these feelings, or am I really nuts?
>
> NoniWell Noni, I can relate very well to how you feel. I cannot see a stuffed animal without getting an attack of grief. A good illustration of my condition or whatever it is, when I was about 7, a neighborhood boy was lighting little toy soldiers and horses on fire and launching them into the river. I waded out and saved them all (it was a really gross river). Seeing a dead animal on the side of the road can put me in the bed. If I am not taking my meds (I think I am over that stage of thinking I can do without them) I will cry passing a field of doomed cows. Now, I do not have these same feeling for people. I do have alot of compassion but not this weird grief that I have for animals, alive and stuffed. I don't know what to make of it other than just being overly sensitive. I have also given up trying to unmask some horrible repressed memory. I just can't come up with one. I am getting pretty comfortable with just accepting that is who I am. It is a great comfort knowing I am not alone.
Donna
poster:Donna Louise
thread:264856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329597.html